....it's all good....
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Random BiTs and PiEceS
CA125
bad..good. good..bad.
it's bad because it's still high. it's good because it's coming down from 147 to 99. yes, indeed- i have one hundred and one questions running through my mind. does it mean i have ovarian cancer? if yes, is it a metastisis from the lung tumor? or is it something totally on its own? what does it mean? what do i need to do now?
i dunno. i don't think my onco can give me an accurate answer either...at least not at this stage. i called up the hospital for the test result last few days and will only discuss this with my onco next Tuesday. the thing is CA125 blood test is not even a reliable method of detecting ovarian cancer. i will call it a bluff. i don't even have any symptoms...but then again, i don't have any symptoms for my lung cancer too. so, i can't totally ignore it.
well, seriously- i'm not sure why but i'm not worried at this moment. we will just keep check for now. if it does present as a problem later on, we will know how to deal with it...or my doc will know how to deal with it and all i need is to survive it. the chemo seems to be doing its job anyway. so, not a threat but just KIV for now.
hair loss
yep, my hair start to fall off this week. not bald yet. in fact, still a lot left.
i'm cutting it short tomorrow..tomboy short. kinda' excited how it will turn out. i know, why waste the money when i may not even keep my hair for long, right? but come on - if life give you lemon, try to make lemonade out of it - i know exactly what it means now. i love long hair and i know i will never cut it short if i can help it. since i will lose it anyway, might as well have some fun.
weight management
pre-pregnancy, i'm a skinny gal weighed not more than 46kg. i love being skinny for the simple fact that i don't have to try my clothes when i go shopping. i will pick size small of anything (except pants) and i know it will fit me just fine. i lost that privilege after i had Matt and shopping is no longer fun for me...not because i have to try my clothes on but i just don't carry the clothes that i like to wear as good as before. since then, i have been struggling for years trying to bring my weight down to 50kg... to push to pre-pregnancy weight is a wishful thinking (altho i never stop wishing).
today....i fear the opposite. i'm struggling to maintain my weight.
come to think of it, i didn't really lose a lot of weight but the problem is i don't have enough buffer to start with in the first place. when i went for the medical check up, i weighed about 52kg. i shed off 2kg in less than a month due to changed of diet, stress, emotional distress, the biopsies, test after test etc.etc. so, i weighed around 50kg when i had the surgery. post-op, i instantly lost another 3kg (some of the weights came from the lung that was removed).
i tried to gain some buffer weights to put up with chemo and managed to bring my weight up to 48kg before i start chemo. it's so difficult to gain weight with the kind of diet i'm having. i need to eat and eat and eat just to gain that one kg and i probably lost in just a few vomits. since then, it has been downhill all the way. i lost almost 2kg from chemo side effects and it's yo-yoing around 46-47kg until i caught the flu virus. it went out of hand and all the way down to 44kg....oh dear.
anyway, i started eating solid again and my appetite is very good. i hope i will be able to buffer it back to 46kg before the next treatment. all i need to do is eat and eat and eat....
last but not least....
once again, i want to extend my heartfelt thanks with abundant appreciation to the blogger bunch for another gift and especially the thought that comes with it:
Jasmine. Agnes. Dinah. Hui Sia. Evangeline. Yvonne. Sue. Michelle. Ivy. Jesslyn. Annie Q. LB. Mom of Cairo. Cheryl. Chew Lee. King's Wife. Sylvia Hoo. Twinnilla. Eileen. Sasha. Pearl. Chanel. Tracy.
some of you didn't even know me at all.... and yet you show me your generous BIG BIG heart by extending your support and encouragement to me again and again. i'm just so grateful that you found me in this blog.
u know what- once this is over and i'm well again....i want to celebrate it with you all!!
thank you. thank you. thank you.
bad..good. good..bad.
it's bad because it's still high. it's good because it's coming down from 147 to 99. yes, indeed- i have one hundred and one questions running through my mind. does it mean i have ovarian cancer? if yes, is it a metastisis from the lung tumor? or is it something totally on its own? what does it mean? what do i need to do now?
i dunno. i don't think my onco can give me an accurate answer either...at least not at this stage. i called up the hospital for the test result last few days and will only discuss this with my onco next Tuesday. the thing is CA125 blood test is not even a reliable method of detecting ovarian cancer. i will call it a bluff. i don't even have any symptoms...but then again, i don't have any symptoms for my lung cancer too. so, i can't totally ignore it.
well, seriously- i'm not sure why but i'm not worried at this moment. we will just keep check for now. if it does present as a problem later on, we will know how to deal with it...or my doc will know how to deal with it and all i need is to survive it. the chemo seems to be doing its job anyway. so, not a threat but just KIV for now.
hair loss
yep, my hair start to fall off this week. not bald yet. in fact, still a lot left.
i'm cutting it short tomorrow..tomboy short. kinda' excited how it will turn out. i know, why waste the money when i may not even keep my hair for long, right? but come on - if life give you lemon, try to make lemonade out of it - i know exactly what it means now. i love long hair and i know i will never cut it short if i can help it. since i will lose it anyway, might as well have some fun.
weight management
pre-pregnancy, i'm a skinny gal weighed not more than 46kg. i love being skinny for the simple fact that i don't have to try my clothes when i go shopping. i will pick size small of anything (except pants) and i know it will fit me just fine. i lost that privilege after i had Matt and shopping is no longer fun for me...not because i have to try my clothes on but i just don't carry the clothes that i like to wear as good as before. since then, i have been struggling for years trying to bring my weight down to 50kg... to push to pre-pregnancy weight is a wishful thinking (altho i never stop wishing).
today....i fear the opposite. i'm struggling to maintain my weight.
come to think of it, i didn't really lose a lot of weight but the problem is i don't have enough buffer to start with in the first place. when i went for the medical check up, i weighed about 52kg. i shed off 2kg in less than a month due to changed of diet, stress, emotional distress, the biopsies, test after test etc.etc. so, i weighed around 50kg when i had the surgery. post-op, i instantly lost another 3kg (some of the weights came from the lung that was removed).
i tried to gain some buffer weights to put up with chemo and managed to bring my weight up to 48kg before i start chemo. it's so difficult to gain weight with the kind of diet i'm having. i need to eat and eat and eat just to gain that one kg and i probably lost in just a few vomits. since then, it has been downhill all the way. i lost almost 2kg from chemo side effects and it's yo-yoing around 46-47kg until i caught the flu virus. it went out of hand and all the way down to 44kg....oh dear.
anyway, i started eating solid again and my appetite is very good. i hope i will be able to buffer it back to 46kg before the next treatment. all i need to do is eat and eat and eat....
last but not least....
once again, i want to extend my heartfelt thanks with abundant appreciation to the blogger bunch for another gift and especially the thought that comes with it:
Jasmine. Agnes. Dinah. Hui Sia. Evangeline. Yvonne. Sue. Michelle. Ivy. Jesslyn. Annie Q. LB. Mom of Cairo. Cheryl. Chew Lee. King's Wife. Sylvia Hoo. Twinnilla. Eileen. Sasha. Pearl. Chanel. Tracy.
some of you didn't even know me at all.... and yet you show me your generous BIG BIG heart by extending your support and encouragement to me again and again. i'm just so grateful that you found me in this blog.
u know what- once this is over and i'm well again....i want to celebrate it with you all!!
thank you. thank you. thank you.
posted by lisaOne at 11:55 PM
20 Comments:
Hope you are getting well. It is nice to see you updating us. By the way, is the side effect of chemo ok with you. If not you can try to ask Dr for medicine to help manage your side effect like Emend.
Hi Lisa,
I can feel it when reading your blog. I just want to say 'keep up the good work'! Stay strong, stay positive. Rest well! That's all I can say, can't do much ... to help except praying for you.
Alice
I look forward to that celebration!
Continue to stay strong and hope you gain back all the weight that u need.
I hear you Lisa..Hang in there.. hang in there... You will always be in my prayers. Take care, rest well and importantly be happy always ya...
Lisa, I think it's good to have a hair cut, it'll sure give u a fresh look :) and keep u motivated.
Good that you are in eating frenzy hahah...and I'm really looking fwd to meet u in person.
I can't wait to meet you in person, but in the meantime, my thoughts and prayers are with you to fight whatever battle you need to :)
it's good to know you are doing well with chemo. Keep the spirits up gal! :)
ileWe wiil be waiting for the celebration!! I love partying.
I look forward to the celebration too!! :)
Btw, I want to ask you for photography tip. When you are free, you reply to me ok.
I want to know how do you keep your photos so sharp while the file size is so small. For me, when I minimise the size, the resolution becomes low too.
Send me your tip : zarasmama@gmail.com or office mail. :P
hei hei, love the part about the lemonade! i am sure u will look great w short pixie cut style, dun worry :D
meanwhile, a virtual wet sloppy kiss from cairo to auntie lisa :D
Good to hear that you can eat solid now. As for the short hair, it will be a makeover for someone who love their hair long. U might like it & never want long hair anymore ;)
God Bless & get well soon ...
Hope to meet you soon, glad that you have a good appetite and eat more.Takecare yourself.
Just let me know when is the gathering, if I can make, sure I will come along with my girls all the way from Melaka!
will look forward to the celeb ... at the meantime take care stay strong and eat more. :)
*sending you lots of good prayers, and lots of lovely thoughts*
can't wait for the BBQ!!
We'll have so much to eat that you will gain 3 kgs overnight!
Hope you feeling better now!And, i am looking forward to the celebration!
Dear Mommy of 2 Fellas,
Your spirit amazes me non-stop. I stumbled upon your blog by chance, and I want to let you know what a brave girl you are. I lost my sister to brain tumour last year. Ching Woan was just 33 and left behind a then-six-year-old kid. I was angry for a while, not sure who with. But people like you inspire me. My prayers are with you and your family. Seize the day! God Bless. jane lee.
Hey Lisa, long time no updates from you. How're you doing?
Haven't seen or heard fm u for quite awhile now until May dropped me a line last Thurs. I read your blog immediately with tears in my eyes. No matter what's keeping you down physically, you still the same Lisa I know - strong as ever!! Take care and god bless.
Grace
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