....it's all good....
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
half-full or half-empty?
i can't really say it's good news.
however, it's a relief.
so, i guess it's a glass half-full for me :)
well, my marker reading is still going up but it's also slowing down in momentum a little. considering all the pain and if cancer has really grown in leaps and bounds causing the past weeks agony, i expected my marker reading could have easily gone up to 1,000 by now. so, it's a sigh of relief when my CEA marker turned out 428. moreover, for the first time, my CA 125 marker (which has been trending up month after month since Feb 09) dropped by 2 points.
although it's not exactly good news but let's move on. there is alot more to do.
actually i was more taken aback by my weight than the result. it hits all time low. i weigh 41.6kg, even lower than my record during chemo. no wonder i was told recently that i look frail.
i came home from qigong. took a pic..... stared at it and told myself, not really that bad what!
i'm surely enjoying the denial but the truth is, i am way too skinny. what you can't see is that my bras reduced more than a size down and can you believe i can wear xs undies. that's for adolescent, not for a two time mom! to add salt to wound, i have eye bags from sleepless night due to the pain plus the boys falling sick one after another. my skin is flaky and dry recovering from rashes. and i'm exhausted.
as said, there is alot more to do. now that the pain is gone. i need to get back up soon.. i need to regain my strength and put back on some weights. asap!
note: no lah, i don't wear like that for qigong. there is always another top layer.
however, it's a relief.
so, i guess it's a glass half-full for me :)
well, my marker reading is still going up but it's also slowing down in momentum a little. considering all the pain and if cancer has really grown in leaps and bounds causing the past weeks agony, i expected my marker reading could have easily gone up to 1,000 by now. so, it's a sigh of relief when my CEA marker turned out 428. moreover, for the first time, my CA 125 marker (which has been trending up month after month since Feb 09) dropped by 2 points.
although it's not exactly good news but let's move on. there is alot more to do.
actually i was more taken aback by my weight than the result. it hits all time low. i weigh 41.6kg, even lower than my record during chemo. no wonder i was told recently that i look frail.
i came home from qigong. took a pic..... stared at it and told myself, not really that bad what!
i'm surely enjoying the denial but the truth is, i am way too skinny. what you can't see is that my bras reduced more than a size down and can you believe i can wear xs undies. that's for adolescent, not for a two time mom! to add salt to wound, i have eye bags from sleepless night due to the pain plus the boys falling sick one after another. my skin is flaky and dry recovering from rashes. and i'm exhausted.
as said, there is alot more to do. now that the pain is gone. i need to get back up soon.. i need to regain my strength and put back on some weights. asap!
note: no lah, i don't wear like that for qigong. there is always another top layer.
posted by lisaOne at 10:00 PM
4 Comments:
ah..good to know at least there are some half good news :). come come i give u some fat, I've been putting on weight like crazy lately ;(
i think the healthy food also result in weight loss.
your energy level is down, as you said, becos of lack of sleep from the pain and taking care of the boys. so there is a valid reason. so all is well. :)
rest more when you can. won't say that you must eat more becos more food does not mean good too. we all eat way too much anyway.
the results are good, in my opinion too. at least the bad cells are halting in their assault. onwards we must fight on.
i was at a carmalite monastery this afternoon. the nuns are those that are not allowed to come out and see people. a nun shared with me of her breast cancer. two years ago too. she said she believes that with a peaceful heart, the journey is a little easier and the effects and aftermath is less painful. she did have her fears and she shared with me how she handled it. i am sure she will pray for you too, when i mentioned that i have friends who are journeying along. to share with you a little secret, now it's no longer of course, silly us, we always tell each other things on our blogs and pretend that nobody reads them, lol. i broke down in tears there. golly, it was embarrasing. didn't see it coming. and i was not even there for counselling or anything like that. i was just there to return something. she said to let it all out, and that i have been bearing it too long. so, silly moo, had a tear stained face and she kept smiling. must have looked horrid, lol. anyway, sweet love, let's fight this one out and we'll get through this journey together. i will be with you in spirit.
may His peace be upon you and let's surrender our sufferings to Him. He will see us through.
hugs my precious love. xxx
good nite.
You know those movie stars, singers, models will go through great length to get the body shaped like that.. slim like that.
Hmm but for you... I think you need to take some weight increase food already...
wuah i tot u wear like that to giqong. I bet the sifu also cannot concentrate edi. haha yeah time to get back up and gain some weight babe!
Post a Comment
<< Home