....it's all good....
Monday, November 02, 2009
life is still good
the day i was admitted,
i was so weak..
i felt like passing out any minute, any second..
i need a wheelchair to move me around..
i don't have the energy to even take off my sandal for a proper weighing..
i weighed 37.8kg... lost almost 4 kgs in mere 2 months.. i was all skin and bones...
i can't stand up for 5 minutes without my lips, finger and toe nails turning blue due to lack of O2 circulation..
i constantly broke out in cold sweats and my hands trembled..
i was too breathless to even talk..
i bumped into a friend who was there for her doc appointment and she cried the minute she saw me..
that day, i felt like i can die.. easily..
but all that i can think of at that time - "how can i survive this?"
not surviving cancer .. just the crisis itself.. i need to get past that.. that's all i need to do.. we will deal with cancer later.
you know what? i think i did.
i'm feeling 10000x better..
my O2 level went up to 98 with O2 aid and without 96..
i can walk around slowly without O2 aid and not breathless..
my colours are good..
i can eat very well..
my pastor told me today, "if i don't know how sick you are, you look normal and healthy"..
i'm stable now and can be discharged (on Friday actually) but to ease the worries of family members who want me to stay a little longer... i'm extending my stay for their peace of mind..
however, i miss the boys terribly.. especially after such conversation..
Matt: "mummy, i have something to tell you.. i was caught in the rain today and i think i'm gonna be sick. you didn't come home to sleep for so many nights.. when are you coming home to see me?"
that hurts. being too sick to be a mom... hurts.
anyway, the kids paid a short visit yesterday. both having flu and coughing.. hence, the face masks.
for now, i will settle for just feeling good to be able to hold, touch and hug them..
life is still good.
i was so weak..
i felt like passing out any minute, any second..
i need a wheelchair to move me around..
i don't have the energy to even take off my sandal for a proper weighing..
i weighed 37.8kg... lost almost 4 kgs in mere 2 months.. i was all skin and bones...
i can't stand up for 5 minutes without my lips, finger and toe nails turning blue due to lack of O2 circulation..
i constantly broke out in cold sweats and my hands trembled..
i was too breathless to even talk..
i bumped into a friend who was there for her doc appointment and she cried the minute she saw me..
that day, i felt like i can die.. easily..
but all that i can think of at that time - "how can i survive this?"
not surviving cancer .. just the crisis itself.. i need to get past that.. that's all i need to do.. we will deal with cancer later.
you know what? i think i did.
i'm feeling 10000x better..
my O2 level went up to 98 with O2 aid and without 96..
i can walk around slowly without O2 aid and not breathless..
my colours are good..
i can eat very well..
my pastor told me today, "if i don't know how sick you are, you look normal and healthy"..
i'm stable now and can be discharged (on Friday actually) but to ease the worries of family members who want me to stay a little longer... i'm extending my stay for their peace of mind..
however, i miss the boys terribly.. especially after such conversation..
Matt: "mummy, i have something to tell you.. i was caught in the rain today and i think i'm gonna be sick. you didn't come home to sleep for so many nights.. when are you coming home to see me?"
that hurts. being too sick to be a mom... hurts.
anyway, the kids paid a short visit yesterday. both having flu and coughing.. hence, the face masks.
for now, i will settle for just feeling good to be able to hold, touch and hug them..
life is still good.
posted by lisaOne at 11:09 AM
18 Comments:
***hugsssssssssssss*** from billy
Best News For Today!! YESSSS!
More and more hugs to you.....
Great to hear you are feeling much better..
you are looking good, babe.
healthy color too.
like what your pastor said, "you look normal and healthy".
your baby steps sure turned out to be giant steps, bravo gal!!
rest and recuperate more and go home to be with your boys, wheee!
and you know what? you ARE a good mom. no doubt about it. definitely!
love you, lisababe. xxx
this is good news ... :P ... happy for u !!
great to hear that... :)
yay! hip hip yay! :)
-goolymama
yes life is still good :)
Amen!
Wow! Great great news!!! You're getting there... One Day at a Time, ... take your time, One Day at a Time and you'll get there ...God Bless... hugs and kisses...J
You are a good mom, and they both know it well :) huggies!! Did you photoshop your pix? You have rosy cheeks...serious! xoxo
that's great. keep it going. :)
God is answering prayer. You are getting there...getting well!
Love-love & hug-hug..
HI Lisa, you look great and that eased my worries...don't feel guilty, you're wonderful mom... I remember all the scrapbooks you did for Matt and Bran, and all the delicious recipes you created for them...for now let's hope you can continue to respond very well to the little pill, get discharged from the hosp and carry on doing the things you love. But you must promise that you should eat more and rest more ok?
forgot to sign off...
luv ya
Dawn
hooray! this is good news. :D
we all know how you're a great mom to your boys so don't u feel guilty. they're very lucky to have you as their mom.
i love the pic of u with your boys!
stay you lisa! :D "loads of hugs!"
good nite sweet babe.
see you tomorrow morning!
sweet dreams.
love ya. xxx
*wiped away tears* (the bit about you feeling hurt for being too sick to be a mum).
Dinah and myself had this conversation the other day. She fell ill b'cos of stomach flu and I got my migraine attack.
When we were felling ill, myself, feeling so helpless and depressed with this overpowering pain, until I could not do anything but to lie down...
I thought about how much more you are going through.. and how much tougher, stronger, positive you are. I draw inspiration from you, to be strong.
Glad you are getting better and stronger, and hope you are back home to be with the boys.
*Hug tight tight but not too tight untill Lisa get 'meatier'*
Post a Comment
<< Home