....it's all good....
Friday, April 02, 2010
it's not always what it seems
today i met up with my dad. this time he said, "you look much better. i like your new hairstyle." :) (my parents didn't know i stopped iressa)
as for me, i feel so energize, so alert, so active despite not sleeping well for the past few days and my skin has never felt better for a long long time.
unfortunately, things are not always what it seems.
to start with, i had been sleeping on the couch for the past few nights.
why?
because that's the only place i feel comfortable lying down.
the problem started few days ago when i felt pain as i lay down on bed to sleep.
the *argghh-so-familiar* pain!!
however, instead of pain surrounding the shoulder down to the back as before, this time the pain occured around the 'lower left' torso. as i took a child pose to release the tension surrounding the discomfort area, i felt the pain actually focuses on the spine or vertebrae, but no longer at T1 or T2 (upper vertebrae) but T5 (i think) and below.
without much delay, i went for my blood test yesterday to check it out. got the result this morning. breaks my heart to say this, my marker went up from 129 to 187.9 in less than 2 weeks.
i promised, not only to you but just as much to me that i will monitor myself closely. after almost dead once, i'm not as stubborn head as i used to be and i'm much much more careful. i do know i don't have nine lives and i already escaped death once. just 2 weeks ago, i told an acquaintance when i visited him in the hospital to just stay alive and do that, you have a chance.
after much thought, yes, i need to go back on Iressa. although i don't believe this is it but will make do for now.
i took this series of pic yesterday morning right before i went down to the hospital for my blood test.
do i look THAT sick??? do i EVEN look sick??
my eyes tell me i'm healthy. my qigong friends told me so that same day.
however, things are not always what it seems.
stay alive and there is a chance. there will be another chance.
meantime, i have to keep loving me.
i-love-me.
as for me, i feel so energize, so alert, so active despite not sleeping well for the past few days and my skin has never felt better for a long long time.
unfortunately, things are not always what it seems.
to start with, i had been sleeping on the couch for the past few nights.why?
because that's the only place i feel comfortable lying down.
the problem started few days ago when i felt pain as i lay down on bed to sleep.
the *argghh-so-familiar* pain!!
however, instead of pain surrounding the shoulder down to the back as before, this time the pain occured around the 'lower left' torso. as i took a child pose to release the tension surrounding the discomfort area, i felt the pain actually focuses on the spine or vertebrae, but no longer at T1 or T2 (upper vertebrae) but T5 (i think) and below.
without much delay, i went for my blood test yesterday to check it out. got the result this morning. breaks my heart to say this, my marker went up from 129 to 187.9 in less than 2 weeks.
i promised, not only to you but just as much to me that i will monitor myself closely. after almost dead once, i'm not as stubborn head as i used to be and i'm much much more careful. i do know i don't have nine lives and i already escaped death once. just 2 weeks ago, i told an acquaintance when i visited him in the hospital to just stay alive and do that, you have a chance.
after much thought, yes, i need to go back on Iressa. although i don't believe this is it but will make do for now.
i took this series of pic yesterday morning right before i went down to the hospital for my blood test.
do i look THAT sick??? do i EVEN look sick??
my eyes tell me i'm healthy. my qigong friends told me so that same day.
however, things are not always what it seems.
stay alive and there is a chance. there will be another chance.
meantime, i have to keep loving me.
i-love-me.
posted by lisaOne at 9:03 PM
6 Comments:
..and I love you more. And must I add, you look absolutely great in those photos..with a new hairstyle too :) You will be well m'dear, have some faith, have more optimism. Have more time spent on qigong, have more vitamins, have more smoothies, have more sunlight, have more maharishi, have more love and laughter. Right now, have a cuppa latte if you wish, you certainly deserve one..
your eyes do look alive and healthy.
do what you need. if it's iressa temporarily for now to keep the cells from doubling, then it shall have to be. keep the qigong. it can only be good. the chi will help fight the negative side effects of iressa. both hand in hand will buy you time. and time adds up. in no time you'll be a grandma, haha!
ok seriously, you are very level headed. just keep going. and when you make a move that you think later that it's not good, just take it from there and re-adjust here and there.
i love you. lots of people love you. with love you will fight the journey. we will hold your hand.
*hugs and kisses* xxx
oh, one thing. hee.. i have been sleeping on one side since my vertigo a year ago. goodness. lol.
*muacks* xxx
u look great and cheerful. Keep that with u :)
ah. nice facelift to your blog, sweetheart! love you. *kisses* xxx
nice blog design :). U definitely don't look sick. Take care dear
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