....it's all good....
Monday, December 31, 2007
snapshOt of 2007
a snapshot of my 2007. a quick glance back at 2007. a lot of me. i cried a little making the photos mosaic. looking back at some 'really sick' photos of me. the no-hair me. the ghastly ghostly pale me. the brownish patchy skin me (having my skin burnt inside out by chemo a few times). the swollen eyes me. the sunken cheek me. the bony skinny weak weak me.... so hard to believe that's me.
it's over. think hAPPy thoughts now.
it's over. think hAPPy thoughts now.
1. Matt 1st day at kindy.
2. Cyndi, Federick, Becca, Tim & Lisa, Dan, Matt, Brad get together.
3. sunway lagoon interactive zoo. Matt rode the pony. Brad bitten by pony.
4. the worst worst worst day of my life .... "i'm so sorry. you have cancer."
5. a pneumonectomy surgery. lost a lung. lots of pain. but i chose happy thoughts. our 6th wedding anniversary. Brad's birthday. my birthday.
6. yet another surgery. insertion of chemo port.
7. life was put on hold. chemo,chemo,chemo and chemo. for 4 months... just surviving chemo.
8. Emend came to the rescue. stop the vomiting. start the hallucination.
9. little rock n roll Matt at Kindy graduation concert. i was very sick and yet i was there.
10. the baldie me. end of chemo.... (hopefully) NEVER AGAIN!
11. road to recovery. lots of green. nourishing healthy detox food.
12. go back to work. go back to life. a very merry 'feel alive" Christmas. Matty's birthday. the now me.... still alive and kicking.
it has been a tough tough year ..... let's just hope the worst is over. what i realize is that whatever physical pain i endured has no match to the love in my heart to stay alive for my loved ones.
adios 2007. welcoming a HEALTHIER, STRONGER & BETTER 2008!
Saturday, December 29, 2007
CHRISTMAS cheers and Matt's BIG day
countdown
just to continue the remaining countdown to Christmas not posted due to time constraints.
5 thought of making it a tradition to get at least a new pair of socks for each family members every Christmas. as expected, my kids wanted ultraman socks this year.... hopefully something different next year?!!
4 we went out, have dinner and bought each of them a school bag. something practical and they get to choose the bags themselves. Matt needs a bigger bag and Brad is starting nursery next year.
3 this is more for me and my hubby.... cute little books of quotes- just for keep. "love is me and you" for my hubby and "a grateful path" for me. and of course a few superhero comic books to keep the kids entertain.
2 just goofing around with an age old favorite bag of bon bons.
1 my kids bought the Ben10 figurines more than 2 weeks ago... wrapped it themselves and the first presents to go under the tree. just proud they have such control to wait till Christmas eve to open it.
CHRISTMAS day
same old.... same old.... Christmas morning mass and Christmas lunch with my family.
the difference - so damn glad i made it to church alive and feeling good too.... sure never felt that before.
and it's a brand new church... completed just in time for Christmas.
i wasn't very into photography that day. so, i didn't take any photos... not even photos of my kids opening their presents. luckily, my hubby took some.
the brand new church.... jam-packed during Christmas as usual.
i particularly like this Christmas tree at the roof top. i can imagine how beautiful it is when it's litted up at night.
and yes, i wore that dress. and yes, i brought a shawl... just in case i feel 'shy'. and yes, i wanted to cover the scar with foundation .... but i don't have any. during one of those very bad chemo days, i threw most of my make-up away .... probably thinking that i will never ever gonna wear it again. time to replenish now?
a few days before Christmas....
there is a water reservoir nearby our condo and it was turned on one morning. we have the sliding door opened and hence, we can hear the noise coming from the reservoir clearly.
Matt curiously asked me, "mummy, is that santa reindeer coming?" (love this boy- make me wanna believe santa too).
and here it is. Matt's Christmas wish-list to santa... all fulfilled by santa aka mom and dad and uncle sam.
1. not only one but TWO Ben 10 watches - courtesy of uncle SAM (thank you SAM).
2. Ultraman King is so unappealing and so difficult to find because it's not in demand. i asked Matt, " why UK? it's not even nice looking". he said, "UK is the most powerful"-wor and that's why he wanted it.
3. the gameboy for his lil bro -again courtesy of uncle SAM (thank you SAM).
4. a doggie for mummy. why?
sometimes i will sigh and complain a little that there is too much testosterone in the house- superheroes, games etc and my boys will bring the lil pink doggie to me and said, "nah, mummy your girlie stuff". the Christmas doggie is to 'add-on' to my girlie stuff ... how sweet :). actually Matt specifically wanted a purple doggie but my hubby couldn't find one.
5. a teddy bear for daddy.
mummy asked, "why bear? because daddy look like a bear?"
Matt replied, "no, because daddy as cute as a bear" .... so sweet :)
6. Santa book. my hubby is so excited that his boy remembers his santa book that he bought 2 instead of 1 this year.
please don't tell me that i'm spoiling my kids. they bring so much fun into our life and they are great kids!
i love this blocks .... so colorful! i think he likes it too.
and this morning.... okay, this is just his 'pretentious cry' and whenever he do that, i grab my camera instead :P
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MATTY!!!
Matt turned 5 yesterday. about a month ago, i asked him whether he wants a party and invite some of his little friends to celebrate his birthday or just want to go out with mummy and daddy (yes, i asked my boys what they want all the time). this boy wanted to be with his mummy and daddy on his birthday WITHOUT HESITATION at all. gotta love that. gonna take full advantage of it. one day, he will prefers to hang out with his friends instead of mom and dad. so, yesterday, i have a play date with Matt (daddy can't make it).... doing whatever he fancy.
he wanted McD for breakfast. definitely not my choice but it's Matt call. so, off we go to McD. i have McEgg but only one bite.... and spitted everything out. shoot! it tasted so synthetic- can't call that food now ( i told you my palate has changed). Matt has porridge but he didn't finished it too... actually he just wanted the McD toy. say so-lah boy!
then, he wanted to run wild at Starship Galactica (something like kidzs sport and gym). we have really W-I-L-D, C-R-A-Z-Y, FUN time.... not only him ended with bruises on his leg...i think i'm injured even worst than him - no sweat! real cool wicked FUN time.
of course, we headed to CROCS to get his birthday present. not exactly his choice but i wanted to get one for myself too :). i'm so glad he love it!!! see, he is still wearing it (indoor) this morning.
i asked him what cake he wants and he wanted the honey bee cake we had for Brandon's birthday last year. Matt wish to blow his cake together with his grandparents too but my hubby came home late. so, we couldn't make it. just the 4 of us then!
can you see it? aahhhh...Brad is so so excited until he spitted out his saliva hahaha.
and he drooled a mouthful too (click on the picture to see it larger) .... such a cutie ... always a laugh to have him around.
hAppY HAPPY 5th BiRTHdAY my Boy!!
he is such a great boy. can't get enough of his sweetness. love his brother to bits. a PS II fanatic. a very friendly chap. a homebody. love to read and a comic fan. always insist that family should be together. still love to be cuddled and tucked in at night. love him love him love him!
here is one last shot of his hAppY feet!
and a HAPPY HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL!!!!!
Monday, December 24, 2007
merry MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
ho! ho! ho!
today is Christmas eve and oh my santa, i should be panicking.....there is still so much to be done!!! calm down woman. take a deep breath.....
ok. what's up with us this few days. well, we are still counting down to Christmas ... just can't find the time to update my blog. anyway, we can save that for later. wanna put up this post before Christmas.
one morning i woke up thinking- we should take some fun family shots. so, we....one crazy-happy-family made an attempt to capture some crazy-happy-family Christmas photos with my camera mounted on a tripod and snapshots taken with the self-timer. of course, most of the photos turned out blurry and out of focus. but hey, we had SO MUCH FUN & LAUGHTER just doing that.... we will definitely do that more often now.
really running out of time for a long post, so, more pictures.
here are the December07 mosaic.
one more thing, i bought this dress early this year (i think) - size S ... hoping one day i will slim down to wear it. well, it fits me now and i have been thinking of wearing it on Christmas day. and then i tried it on last night only to realise i have a scar .... an inch and a half long scar on my right shoulder (below the collarbone).... the scar they cut me up to put in the chemo port. as you can see, it's quite obvious if i wear this dress. now, i'm not sure whether i should wear it.
funny that after what i have been through, i still sweat over small stuff like this. i guess although i look healthy (and feel good) but somewhere deep down in one secluded corner my heart, i do have this inferior complex that i'm a sick person. on one hand, i want to live a happy normal life but on the other hand, i do want to be reminded every now and then that i'm not well and need to stay focus to stay alive.
...... just be happy for now that i made it 'ALIVE and JOLLY' for Christmas :-)
so, wishing you
and also,
from the crazy-happy-family. lots of hugs and love from us.
today is Christmas eve and oh my santa, i should be panicking.....there is still so much to be done!!! calm down woman. take a deep breath.....
ok. what's up with us this few days. well, we are still counting down to Christmas ... just can't find the time to update my blog. anyway, we can save that for later. wanna put up this post before Christmas.
one morning i woke up thinking- we should take some fun family shots. so, we....one crazy-happy-family made an attempt to capture some crazy-happy-family Christmas photos with my camera mounted on a tripod and snapshots taken with the self-timer. of course, most of the photos turned out blurry and out of focus. but hey, we had SO MUCH FUN & LAUGHTER just doing that.... we will definitely do that more often now.
really running out of time for a long post, so, more pictures.
here are the December07 mosaic.
one more thing, i bought this dress early this year (i think) - size S ... hoping one day i will slim down to wear it. well, it fits me now and i have been thinking of wearing it on Christmas day. and then i tried it on last night only to realise i have a scar .... an inch and a half long scar on my right shoulder (below the collarbone).... the scar they cut me up to put in the chemo port. as you can see, it's quite obvious if i wear this dress. now, i'm not sure whether i should wear it.
funny that after what i have been through, i still sweat over small stuff like this. i guess although i look healthy (and feel good) but somewhere deep down in one secluded corner my heart, i do have this inferior complex that i'm a sick person. on one hand, i want to live a happy normal life but on the other hand, i do want to be reminded every now and then that i'm not well and need to stay focus to stay alive.
...... just be happy for now that i made it 'ALIVE and JOLLY' for Christmas :-)
so, wishing you
and also,
from the crazy-happy-family. lots of hugs and love from us.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Countdown: 6 days to Christmas
i have been staying up late for the past few days and last night, my energy levels took a plunged and i felt so tired out of a sudden. so, i hit the sack and konked out *p-e-n-g-s-a-n* early .... leaving my husband with the 2 boys. so, that's it. no countdown story to tell :P
anyway, let's get entertain with some Christmas photo bloopers of my kids instead.
my personal lil santa Financial Controller....keeping track of mummy expenses.
and then he goes, "omgosh...no way i can tally up mummy spending bills for Christmas. where's the budget to match?"
ok. this is so much better.
a pic of my cute little santa riding in a box instead of a reindeer sleigh.
no boy...no boy....eeewwwww.....don't do that....don't blow bubbles with your saliva.
ok. this is so much better.
a smile for me....although i can still see saliva forming around your mouth.
Brandon.... what are you doing? don't do that....don't poke your fingers into big bro's nose....ouchhie....
ok. this is so much better.
love one another.... and strictly no poking!!
anyway, let's get entertain with some Christmas photo bloopers of my kids instead.
my personal lil santa Financial Controller....keeping track of mummy expenses.
and then he goes, "omgosh...no way i can tally up mummy spending bills for Christmas. where's the budget to match?"
ok. this is so much better.
a pic of my cute little santa riding in a box instead of a reindeer sleigh.
no boy...no boy....eeewwwww.....don't do that....don't blow bubbles with your saliva.
ok. this is so much better.
a smile for me....although i can still see saliva forming around your mouth.
Brandon.... what are you doing? don't do that....don't poke your fingers into big bro's nose....ouchhie....
ok. this is so much better.
love one another.... and strictly no poking!!
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
countdOwn: 7 days to Christmas
wordless Wednesday....
cool books-huh? ssssshhhhhhh.....
cool books-huh? ssssshhhhhhh.....
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
counTdown: 8 days to Christmas
date: 17th Decembe 2007 (Monday)
last night
it was dark ..... it was silent.
the lights are turned off and nope, it was not an incident of power failure.
the lights level were so low, i can't even take a proper photo.
the only thing illuminating in the house were these.
what happen?
my kids dug into santa socks and discovered........... glow sticks!
and it was a very silent night too.
why?
the kiddies went under cover to check out their glow sticks,
and they stayed there for a long long time.
since i have only a few lousy photos to show you today,
why not i show you my 'wig' ......
a temporary solution.
i much prefer my 'GI Jane' hairdo ....look more macho :P
anyway, my hair is growing real fast lately.
i think i can go for a hair trim next month
and maybe opt for a funky hair color too :-)
and then, the wig is history (cross my fingers, toes and eyes).
and yes, Brad attacked by me as in pic.
last night
it was dark ..... it was silent.
the lights are turned off and nope, it was not an incident of power failure.
the lights level were so low, i can't even take a proper photo.
the only thing illuminating in the house were these.
what happen?
my kids dug into santa socks and discovered........... glow sticks!
and it was a very silent night too.
why?
the kiddies went under cover to check out their glow sticks,
and they stayed there for a long long time.
since i have only a few lousy photos to show you today,
why not i show you my 'wig' ......
a temporary solution.
i much prefer my 'GI Jane' hairdo ....look more macho :P
anyway, my hair is growing real fast lately.
i think i can go for a hair trim next month
and maybe opt for a funky hair color too :-)
and then, the wig is history (cross my fingers, toes and eyes).
and yes, Brad attacked by me as in pic.
Monday, December 17, 2007
countdoWn: 9 days to Christmas
date: 16th December 2007 (Sunday)
in the morning,
getting ready to go out
+ this boy playing catch-me-if-you-can with my camera
= blurry shot. love the expression tho'.
in the afternoon,
1 cranky x whiny Brad
+ 1 laughable x waggish Matt
+ a nice dim-sum lunch with family (oopps...another slipped)
+ a leisure stroll at shopping mall
x 50% ogling at Christmas decor
x 50% tuning in to Christmas carols
minus battling through the incessant crowd of people
minus a bite of BIG apple donuts (oopps again ...yet another slipped)
= quality family time.
in the late afternoon,
stash of craft goodies
+ this 2 cute ' hAppy BeAns' ??
+ a little work from Matt
minus not in the groove Brad
+ mummy supervision
+ daddy photog
= a lovely personalize hand-made Christmas decor.
in the morning,
getting ready to go out
+ this boy playing catch-me-if-you-can with my camera
= blurry shot. love the expression tho'.
in the afternoon,
1 cranky x whiny Brad
+ 1 laughable x waggish Matt
+ a nice dim-sum lunch with family (oopps...another slipped)
+ a leisure stroll at shopping mall
x 50% ogling at Christmas decor
x 50% tuning in to Christmas carols
minus battling through the incessant crowd of people
minus a bite of BIG apple donuts (oopps again ...yet another slipped)
= quality family time.
in the late afternoon,
stash of craft goodies
+ this 2 cute ' hAppy BeAns' ??
+ a little work from Matt
minus not in the groove Brad
+ mummy supervision
+ daddy photog
= a lovely personalize hand-made Christmas decor.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
CounTdown: 10 days to Christmas
date: 15th December 2007
the kiddies kicked off the opening.
mummy the photog.
daddy supervised.
while he concentrated....
he was goofing around....
this is the end result, which has now reverted to its original state.
this is what it is: a 3D winnie the pOOh puzzle.
done within 15 minutes... too easy.... not so shiok!
a little something for the day :-)
Saturday, December 15, 2007
cOuntdown: 11 days to Christmas
Date: 14th December 2007
the jOlly feet....
(around 20 minutes each)
we watched:
1. frosty the snowman.... everybody watched attentively from start to end.
2.rudolph the red nose reindeer.... the 2 fellas started fidgeting. walked in and out of kitchen, bathroom, bedroom.
3. santa claus is coming to town.... the 2 fellas lost interest and they wanted to watch Ben 10 instead.
so we ended up watching Ben 10. totally fine with me :) the 'everyday something' meant to be fun and yeah, we had fun!
besides that, we had our little treats too... mmmmm... melt in your mouth stuff... yummy.
(photos taken this morning for better lighting)
treat for the kids.... but considered health hazardous to me. well, i only ate one. okay, i admit my diet slipped a little lately. for the past 6-7 months, my sugar supplies strictly comes from fruits and in a very controlled manner i.e. minimal consumption. but hey, it's Christmas. as long as i keep the good food >90%, i guess i can take a little risk every now and then.... be a little naughty.... i believe Santa can surely bypass this trivial naughtiness.
treat for the kids.... but considered health hazardous to me. well, i only ate one. okay, i admit my diet slipped a little lately. for the past 6-7 months, my sugar supplies strictly comes from fruits and in a very controlled manner i.e. minimal consumption. but hey, it's Christmas. as long as i keep the good food >90%, i guess i can take a little risk every now and then.... be a little naughty.... i believe Santa can surely bypass this trivial naughtiness.
just in case you wonder. i don't feel deprive of food because of my diet. in fact, i enjoy eating the good stuff and seriously, i much prefer vege over meat now. somehow meat don't taste as good as it used to be. my palate has changed. the only thing i miss every now and then is sweet stuff i.e. chocolates, ice cream etc. and yes, coffee.
early this morning....
there it goes..... one foot up and down it came scattering the toys all over.... kinda' expected :P
this boy is a morning person... wakes up early while Matt is a night owl. hence, it's easier to capture his morning act.
Friday, December 14, 2007
countdOwn: 12 days to Christmas
Date: 13th Dec 07
1. crayola colors explosion neon.
2. Matt 'likes' it and spent more than an hour on it although he prefers to open his Ultraman King present instead.
3. Brad abandoned it within 10 minutes.
this morning......before we left to work.
obviously not very hAppy i took his pictures.
tonight....maybe something more relaxing....put our feet up and have a little treat....
1. crayola colors explosion neon.
2. Matt 'likes' it and spent more than an hour on it although he prefers to open his Ultraman King present instead.
3. Brad abandoned it within 10 minutes.
this morning......before we left to work.
obviously not very hAppy i took his pictures.
tonight....maybe something more relaxing....put our feet up and have a little treat....
